Trying to Pick up Pace

I have been busy with lots of things lately that I have not blogged anything in awhile…

Writing formal essays is not as easy as it seems

A month from now I will take the IELTS exams. I cannot really say that I am already confident for the exam. The past weeks of review were a challenge to me. I had to schedule my review right after my work. I never went to my evening classes on time. What the heck. It’s better than no taking the review classes at all. My first mock-exam was a disaster. I got a five for my writing test and 6 for my speaking test. My reading and listening test were okay, I got a 7.5 on both accounts. I expected the worst because it was first try at the exam. There were times in my speaking test that I had nothing to say or I kept repeating things. The writing test on the other hand I was reprimanded for writing in all caps. I write that way because my writing is not that nice. I said to myself I could do better. The succeeding mock exam results were better. I even got a 7.5 for my speaking. My reading and listening test ranges from 6.5-8 (but I need to get a 7). My writing test is on the other hand really needs improvement. I thought I could get good marks with this test because I used to write. Then I realize that writing formal essays is hard. I used to write but it was more of the creative side. I have to organize my thoughts and never forget to recheck what I wrote. Unfortunately I always ran out of time. I really need to practice thinking and writing fast.

Addicted to Reading
When I was in Cebu I had no other forms of entertainment. So I choose reading books. When I got back here in Davao reading books stuck with me. Now I joined a 50 book challenge a year in shelfari. I calculated that I should finish at least 4 books a month and 12-13 books per quarter. This quarter I have finished reading 14 books. I might add not bad.
* The Last Watch- Sergei Lukianenko (1)
* Shanghai Baby- Wei Hui (2)
* The Stranger- Albert Camus (3)
* The Southern Vampire Series- Charlaine Harris
-Dead Until Dark (4)
-Living Dead in Dallas (5)
-Club Dead (6)
-Dead to the World (7)
-Dead as a Doornail (8)
-Definitely Dead (9)
-All Together Dead (10)
-From Dead to Worse (11)

*They Whisper- Robert Olen Butler (12)
*The Cider House Rules-John Irving (13)
*The Devil Wears Prada- Lauren Weisberger (14)
Right now I am reading The Time Traveller’s Wife and Psycho the book about Ed Gein.

What happened to my Creativity List!
The other year I made a plan to make a creativity list. This is a list of things I have to do each month to fuel my creativity. It involves reading books, watching movies, making sketches, having a photo shoot and writing something like a poem, story or whatever. I did manage to do it the first month but then I couldn’t manage to do it the following months. I don’t know if its lack of time or if it lack discipline. I did manage to do some of the things in the list but not everything.

Preparing for Summer
It’s already summer and it’s time to have sometime on the beach. My high school friends and I really want to go on an outing but have not found the perfect place to. Right now I cannot go to any outing to the beach because I am still recuperating from my cyst operation. But when all is healed and well you bet I want to haul my ass to any beach. Summer outing also means lomo time for me. Lomo cams work better with lots of sunshine so going to the beach would be a wonderful opportunity to take pictures. I got lots of films collecting dust in my shelves and not the time to use them.

Trying to be an Adult
My father will be leaving to Australia soon. Since I am the oldest I am the one take responsibility of taking care of my family. I am not the breadwinner but I will manage stuff for my father. I have tried living on my own so I am not really new to taking responsibilities for one’s own shit but still I do ponder if I got what it takes… I knew I have to manage my time. The first months will definitely challenging but will an optimist heart everything should be ok. Hopefully I would still have time to blog by then.

Old FM10+Fuji Sensia

More Pictures with Kuya Al

me and my kuya Al grade 5 pa ata ako dito

my elementary graduation

Apple's First birthday

Kuya Al

After an unplanned three day visit I cam home feeling depressed. I went o Manila to attend my Kuya Al's funeral.

Sad News Before the Holy Week

-- GROUNDED. The flagship helicopter of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is grounded on Maundy Thursday at the lawn of the presidential Mansion in Baguio City. INQUIRER NORTHERN LUZON/EV ESPIRITU

Last, last week, Wednesday I woke up hearing sad news that a presidential helicopter was missing the day before. One of the pilots was cousin Kuya Al. At first I was hopeful. "They will surely find the chopper and everyone is alive." I said to myself. I did not want to entertain any pessimistic thoughts. I went to work with a heavy heart. When I got to the office I opened my internet browser to Inquirer, abs-cbn news and gma news. I looked for related articles. After a few minutes I refreshed to check for updates. There was news that the helicopter was found but I know something wasn't right. The helicopter was described as totally burned. After a few hours there were already news of found bodies. At first there were three, then five and then there were seven (There were a total of 8 people in the helicopter). I was at home when I watched late night news Bandila. My heart sank when the newscaster reported that there were no survivors of the helicopter crash. All hope is lost when I saw Kuya Al's picture with his four year old daughter was posted on screen. I was grief stricken but I didn't cry. After watching the news and saying a quick goodbye to my bf, I lay down on my beside my sister in my room, we were unspeaking and quietly grieving.

Villamor Air Base, Pasay City - The seven bodies of the eight passenger of the ill-fated Presidential Chopper Bell 412 which crashed last 7 April 2006 in Ifugao Province. Photo shows Col Cimatu, PAF Chaplain, who blessed the bodies and would later be brought to the Hero's Hall at the Malacañang Palace. (Photo by TSg Bruna)

A Gathering of a family

My Kuya Al, his wife and kids live in Villamor Airbase. My Aunt and my cousins live in Mindanao. I knew there were a lot of planning to do. We were waiting for the final wake and funeral plans. By Saturday there was a plane provided by the Air force for the relatives that will go to Manila. Me and my sister wanted to go but the funeral plans wasn't final. I have work and an upcoming event. Sunday we learned that there will be another plane on Tuesday and the plane will be back by Friday. The funeral was on Thursday at the Libingan ng Mga Bayani. My Mother said she was going and I decided that I wanted to go too. I immediately send a text message to my boss asking for a three day leave. When my boss gave permission I started packing and planned the things I should accomplish before I leave for Manila. The flight schedule kept on changing. My Mom even decided not to go because of the very erratic schedule. I still wanted to go. This is my last time to say good bye to him.

Riding C130

When I woke up Tuesday morning I was already hurrying up because I was going to be late for work. After taking a bath my sister barged in the room with the news that we were going to Manila at ten o'clock in the morning and it was already 8. I had already packed my things and so I had to add only a few more items. My sister on the other hand was in packing frenzy. The day before we all thought that schedule of the plane was going to be on Wednesday. I thought to myself that I had one more day at work. My sister even went home late because she thought that the trip to Manila was cancelled. When we were heading to the old airport my father received a text message that people were already boarding the plane. My Mom said that if we were meant to go God will find a way, I on the other hand thought that if the plane left I could go to work. Fortunately the C130 was still there when we got to the airport. After security the check up we waited. I had to tell people that I was flying Manila. There was something wrong with the Globe network and I could not send a message. I borrowed my sister’s phone and sent a message to Marga my officemate that I was not going to work that day. I wanted to text other people but we were boarding. This is not the first time I rode the C130. The last time was when I went home to Davao for Kuya Al’s wedding.

Prayers, Vigil and the Wake

The wake was held at Villamor Airbase Mortuary. When we arrived we were immediately brought to the Mortuary. Even in the entrance you can see a lot of big wreaths. The senders range from friends, relatives, Kuya Al’s superiors and government officials. When we inside I immediately saw Ate Rachel, Kuya Al’s wife she was with her daughters. It was my first time to see Angel the five month old baby. Angel is a very cute and happy baby. It’s sad to think that she will grow up not knowing her Father. I could see features of Kuya Al on her especially the dimple which is also located exactly like her father’s.

I had attended a lot of wake of relatives, friends and acquaintances. I usually don’t stay long. This my first time to attend a wake of a close relative. My family was really close to Kuya Al. Before he went to PMA he stayed for three years with my family. He was an engineering student at UM then. When I was also exiled in Manila in 2005 I stayed with his family at the Villamore Airbase. When Kuya Al was in Davao he never forget’s to visit my family.

At the mortuary you can’t see a coffin instead you can see a small container with my Kuya Al’s ashes in it. He was cremated. Sad to say there were only bits and pieces that were found of his body. He was the last one to be found. As I look at his framed picture I could remember a lot of happy memories. He had a very light and happy demeanor. He was one of the few male cousins who was patient enough to play Barbie with me and my sister. He loved kids and I really saw his devotion with his daughter when I lived with his family in 2005. His death really saddens me but I couldn’t image what is going through my Ate Rachel mind. What I am feeling is multiplied a hundred times more with what is Ate Rachel is going through or my Auntie Glory (she is my Kuya Al’s mom and my father’s older sister).

At the Libing ng Mga Bayani

At the Villamor's Chapel

It was not your regular funeral. There was a band, a lot of uniformed men and lots of formalities. There was a long walk from the entrance toward the area where they will put Kuya Al in his final resting place. The band played a very mournful song. There was a helicopter that threw rose petals in the air. There was also a gun salute. Everyone was very emotional in the part where the flag is folded and given to Ate Rachel and Auntie Glory. I really wanted to cry but I usually don’t cry in public. When people where dispersing I found my sister. She told me that mother broke her sandal and was stuck in a van somewhere. I didn’t dwell on my grief any more and gathered my spirits to look for my mother. While attending to mother I didn’t know what else happened. I just watched from a far. Later President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo went to say condolences. Everyone wanted to have a glimpse of her. My Mother, my sister and I on the other did not want to join in the chaos. We just watched from afar.

That afternoon I already went back to Davao because work to attend to in the following day.

I know Kuya Al is now in God’s hand. Somehow I am happy that he is finally at peace. He died serving his country, he left many happy memories and he will always be remembered. His life maybe short but I know it was full.

My Valentine’s days will now have more color and meaning. That is Kuya Al’s birthday. He showed how loved should not be limited to people around you. He lived and died for love, love of family and love of country.

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